Last Updated: February 14th, 2020
While the people we photograph are mostly adults, spare the occasional baby or little kid that turns up during the occasional family sessions we do, children are one of the funnest parts of any wedding day for us. They bring so much character and personality, and are often much less restrained than adults who “know how to behave.” Even on wedding days with a lot of down time, kids still find a way to make things nice and interesting (or in the least…entertaining).
Of course, dependent upon the age, children can bring with them a subtle (and, sometimes, not-so-subtle) unpredictability that can be put on display in both favorable (and not-so-favorable) behaviors throughout the course of a wedding day. The occasional tantrum, especially in light of the many ‘adult’ things going on around them (bright lights, loud music, alcohol consumption, etc.), is to be expected, at least to some degree. But, more often than not, kids are just going to be kids – and most things become instantly more interesting when they show up. Putting them in a wedding environment is just setting the stage for something cute and/or funny to happen.
So, with all this in mind, we thought it could be useful to talk about how we approach photographing kids on the wedding day – and how you can go about getting the most out of your wedding photography in the moments that involve the kiddos.
Posing Kids During Family Formals
First of all, many of us photographers are filled with dread when we think about the huge list of family formals we just received from our clients. When skimming through it, we occasionally see a lot of kids involved – and know they can sometimes be difficult to work with. We want to address this part of the day first-and-foremost given it is such a significant part of the wedding photography you are creating for your clients.
When it comes to family formals in general, it’s important to put yourself into the shoes of your client.
What are you really wanting from these types of shots?
What are your expectations?
What are your clients expectations?
Sometimes the stress photographers feel comes from feeling like every shot needs to be perfect. While we don’t mean to suggest you shouldn’t strive for this, in some situations, as is the case with an unruly kid, perfection may not be the bar to be shooting for.
While unruliness does happen, more often than not by the time we get to family formals, kids are just plain tired OR wanting to run around and play. There is probably nothing more boring for a kid (or most of the other family members who wander away for that matter) than waiting around to have their picture taken.
With this said, one thing we do to help this along is put photos with kids first on our list. If you do not prepare a family formal list in advance, we highly suggest you do. We always get the kids done first (then the grandparents), then work our way through the list of other people with a slightly higher tolerance for waiting around to get their photo taken with the bride & groom.
Once you have the kids in front of the camera, think about how this kid is reacting to you right off the bat. A few kid personalities we see over-and-over again on the wedding day include:
- The “perfect” kid – We’ve had children that were pretty much perfect and would follow every direction to a T. It’s honestly pretty strange to see, as we definitely were not those kids growing up 🙂 These kids are the easy ones.
- The “shy” kid – This is the kid who isn’t misbehaving, but just nervous because this is a new experience. They are probably not wanting to leave their parent’s side, or keep their eyes fixed on them throughout course of their photos.
- The “funny” kid – You know this type…the one who seems to be laughing at everything and making everyone laugh.
- The “misbehaving” kid – Finally, the troublemaker of the bunch. This one is probably not listening to you at all, and maybe even being disrespectful to others around.
Now that we’ve put a short description to each type, we can talk a little more about how we handle each during the family portrait part of the wedding day.
Note: Before you read any further, just keep in mind that there isn’t a one-shoe-fits-all solution. Every kid will react differently to different people based on our personalities. What works for us might not necessarily work for you, and vice versa.
The “Perfect” Kid
We have to admit, probably one of the most bizarre experiences is showing up to a wedding ready-and-prepared to deal with the troublemakers…only to find out they are so well behaved it’s pretty much perfect. We’ve encountered this on a few occasions, and props go out to the parent’s that have raised these kids to do exactly what they’re told without question during photos. You shouldn’t have any problem getting a good shot of this type of kid, just get them into position and let your shutter roll.
The “Shy” Kid
Shy children are a lot more common, and pretty much mirror our own personalities when we were young. These are the ones who aren’t really going out of their way to misbehave or not listen, but are just really quiet or anxious, especially around new people and situations. Often, these kids will have trouble looking towards the camera, and instead want to get out of the way of the camera as quickly as possible. When they are finally nicely posed, their eyes can wander to mom or dad, and sometimes this triggers for them to run towards them if they feel overwhelmed.
This is a kid it’s pretty easy to empathize with. Being in front of a camera is intimidating, and sometimes boring, even for adults. The key to better management of these types of kids during family formals is to give them a lot of supporting talk, and to have mom (or whoever they have an affinity for) standing near or behind you as a photographer, so even if they want to look their way – their way is near you as a photographer.
The “Funny” Kid
When it comes to the funny ones, they tend to fall into one of two camps: the rude funny kid or the funny funny kid. Some children are just hysterical, and can bring a certain it factor to photos they are in. While family formals tend to have a consistent look for many photographers (stand here, look into the camera, smile, repeat) – some great shots are those that happen candidly between the really posed shots. With the kids involved, this is especially true.
If the kid is being genuinely hilarious, sometimes letting them roll with it is a great way to get some fun shots to help break up the stiff posed formals. Of course, it’s often best to get them to reign things in, if only for one shot. Sometimes just asking “can we have a quick smiling shot?” will work, while other times more coaxing may be needed (again – enlist the help of mom, dad, or someone else they really like).
Now…the “rude funny kid” we mentioned, how you deal with that one will be the same as…
The “Misbehaving” Kid
In our experience, kids often get a bad rap as a result of a few bad apples. While they aren’t always the perfect types, they usually bring a lot of good energy (or nervous energy), which are pretty easy to work with and through all things considered.
The real difficulty of family formals will often arise when a kid is misbehaving.
Like anything, this can take many forms, and every child is different. Sometimes a good kid is just in a bad mood, tired, or so on. Other times, it can feel like they have a personal vendetta against you. Either way, the result tends to lead to a situation where the kid won’t listen, and might even get as bad as throwing a temper tantrum.
The first steps to managing this type of scenario is to always speak in a calm voice (don’t raise your voice or they will often respond even harsher towards you!), and involve the parent’s (who may be able to get them under control) quickly.
If all else fails, a little bribery sometimes works. Of course, what would appeal to a kid? Often our minds run to things like candy or what have you, but it’s not something we really suggest just because you never know if there is a dietary type problem. For us, we sometimes ask – “Hey, if we can get a great shot of you, you can help us take our next photo!” Sometimes this is enough to be an exciting and new thing, they’ll stand and smile, then run over behind our camera and we’ll let them look through the viewfinder and snap a few shots. We always hold our camera while they do this, but without fail it tends to break down some of the bad behavior and put it into a fun outlet where the kid can get more involved.
Photograph Reactions When Walking Down the Aisle
One of the cutest and often most comical part of any wedding ceremony is when the little ringbearer and flower girl walk down the aisle. Even after shooting dozens of weddings, we still have a big grin on our faces as we watch some of the things kids do.
Our approach to photography for this sequence of events is very much candid, but making sure to be aware of the surroundings and how to optimally frame what is going on. Below we provide examples of some types of shots we consistently look for:
- Straight on shots of the kids doing their thing. The focus of the shot is simply on the kids walking down the aisle. This basically functions like a candid portrait type shot, and we try to limit other things in the frame.
- Groom reaction shots. At most weddings, even the most serious grooms will let down their guard when the kids start coming down the aisle – especially when they end up doing something funny. Framing your shot so as to get some of his reaction is a priceless way to capture the moment.
- Crowd reaction shots. Few other times of the day will you have so many people focused on something that isn’t the bride & groom, and filled with great smiling responses. Framing your shot so as to hone in on some of these reactions is a great way to add more depth to these types of photos.
In the shot above taken at a wedding we photographed, we take all of these shots and combine them into one – while also taking advantage of some pretty staple photography tips regarding leading lines and depth of field. The leading lines take us through a crowd of people reaction to a pretty great moment, and end up leading right to the groom and his response. Our wide aperture made the focus of the shot about the girls, leading to a gradual blurring of people and objects in the background.
Capture Children Interacting with the Bride and/or Groom
We often find children to be great subjects for wedding day storytelling. They bring a young spirit that just seems to energize a lot of people, and it translates in the photos we take.
So often, wedding days are hugely stressful for many people – the bride & groom especially. It’s stressful because the day is all about them, and they want everything to go smoothly. Amidst all this, kids can help redirect some of this stress and anxiety, and remove the focus on these negative things and replace with something positive.
Throughout the wedding day, from the early moments while the bride & groom get ready to the end of the reception, always keep an eye on the bride & groom, and move in to grab some quick candid shots when they find themselves interacting with kids on the big day. Keep in mind the relationships too – often the kids are nieces or nephews, sometimes actual children, and other times a family friend’s kid. In instances where the kids around are close to the bride & groom, it’s especially important to grab shots like these.
…And Don’t Forget the Fur Babies!
This is a bonus thing to keep in mind, but sometimes couples like to include their “fur children” into the mix. We absolutely love this ourselves, considering we are pet parents ourselves. Just like human children, animals bring their own personalities to the mix, and tend to be most responsive to their owners (often the bride & groom themselves). As such, allow them to take the lead on any more formal type shots, and always be on the look out for candid moments throughout the day.
All in all, photography of children throughout the wedding day is often pretty easy. A lot of these moments unfold naturally and in a way where candid photography is the best approach. It is only during family formals that these direct interactions are needed, and sometimes a little more difficult depending on the personality and mood of the kid(s) you are working with.
So…what’s your experience photographing children? Have you had a lot of good luck, or maybe some horror stories? We’d love to hear!